How to Lure a Raven
by INeedCoffeeArghhh
Summary: "I'm crashing this pity party. I don't think you're having a good time, and the DJ is terrible!" (One-shot)


_A/N: Stary - check!_

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After what he claimed the last time he would get his heartbroken, and much to everyone's disdain, Stan Marsh once again became Raven - only this time he refused to leave his bedroom as well. Kyle, Kenny, Butters, even grudgingly Cartman, had tried to get him out, but it was no use. As Stan said: 'There's just nothing to go outside for but more pain and suffering.'

There was only one person left who hadn't tried to break through to him, and if this person couldn't do it then all hope was lost. Garry Harrison certainly had enough cheer; he could split it with someone and still have an unmovable grin plastered across his face as he whistled his way through life.

Gary swung Stan's bedroom door open and chimed a greeting. "Hey, Stan!" He looked at his miserable friend, lying on his bed, dressed all in black, and tutted. "I'm crashing this pity party. I don't think you're having a good time, and the DJ is terrible!" Gary walked over to Stan's stereo and turned off the gloomy love songs that were playing repeatedly from it.

Stan sullenly turned his head to his doorway. "I'm not Stan anymore. I'm _Raven_."

"That's an awfully dark name," commented Gary.

"My name reflects the darkness I feel in my pitiful soul."

"...I prefer Stan." Gary walked over to the window and threw open the curtains. Sunlight poured into the previously dark room and fell on Stan's pale face.

Stan blinked in the bright light, eyes sore. "What are you doing?" he asked in annoyance. "I closed them for a reason."

"It's such a beautiful day," chimed Gary. "We don't get much sun here in South Park. Don't waste summer!" He opened the window to let fresh air into the stuffy room.

"I'll waste summer if I want to." Stan buried his head in his pillow. "It's my choice."

Gary sat down on the end of Stan's bed. "So what have you been doing this past week?"

"Lying here waiting for death and thinking about how pointless life is. I wrote some poems as well."

Gary clapped his hands together. "I would sure love to hear one of those poems."

Stan sat up and reached for a notepad to the side of his bed. He began to read in a droning tone:

"My life is a poisoned apple  
My core dead  
I took a bite so sweet but no  
My mouth foamed instead  
I bit-"

"That's a terrible poem, Stan," interrupted Gary, causing Stan to sigh and throw the poem down. Gary shook his head. "Really, truly awful." He looked around Stan's room and by the time his eyes reached the window he'd had an idea. "Hey! I know! Let's play tennis. NO! Let's go on a bike ride!" He raised his voice excitedly. "I love bike rides!"

Stan groaned. "God, _stop shouting_. And no. I'm not leaving my room. There's no point."

Gary dropped the volume and spoke softly. "Sure there is: fresh air, wind through your hair, feeling the sun on your bones. It's great fun. We could even stop off at the park and have a picnic."

"What's the point? It's all going to turn to crap," responded Stan drearily.

"Can I not even tempt you with a rice krispie square?"

"No I..." Stan paused. "Hmmm."

Gary grinned. "Freshly made, with chocolate frosting, irresistibly tasty... and all you have to do is cycle to my house."

Stan shook his head and went to lying down on the bed again, staring at the ceiling. "They're not worth it."

"Dang it."

Gary felt that he was so close. He just needed to give Stan a big enough incentive to get out of the house, hoping that when he entered back into society he'd realise that there were a lot of good points to life. It was hard not to do that when you were with Gary for extended periods of time - the blond liked to cheerily point them out. Gary began to think of another way he could lure Stan. He blushed as an idea entered his head and he shuffled forwards. It was mad enough to work.

Stan sensed the unusual silence and sat up, eyeing Gary suspiciously. "What?"

"I think I know a way to make you forget about Wendy." A new tone had entered Gary's voice, a slightly more seductive one. He sat down next to Stan and looked into his eyes.

"How?" asked Stan slowly.

"Like this." With nervous haste, Gary lightly kissed Stan on the mouth, their soft lips delicately pressed together in a bewildering moment. Gary pulled away almost as quickly, delighted by Stan's red face - much better than seeing it so pale.

"Gary!" gasped Stan, mouth gaping open. "What was that?"

"That's just a small preview of what will happen if you-"

"Cycle to your house?" asked Stan sheepishly, but with a tone of amusement.

Gary blushed. "You got it, Raven."

"O-Okay," Stan's voice quivered as he spoke. "And please... call me Stan."

Gary grinned and jumped up. "It will be my pleasure." The light in his glistening blue eyes seemed to travel straight to Stan's stomach.

Stan slapped a hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry I think I'm going to..." He ran out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, throwing himself over the toilet.

Gary gasped and ran after him, kneeling behind him and slowly stroking his back. He knew exactly what Stan throwing up meant and it made him so excited. He tried not to let that show - throwing up wasn't meant to be a good thing, was it? "It's okay, Stan," he said supportively. "Just breathe slow." He squeezed Stan's shoulders. "Relax."

Stan gasped at the feel of Gary's warm hands massaging his shoulders and threw up again. "Gary..."

"Shhh," whispered Gary, increasing the pressure and lightly kissing the back of Stan's head. "I'm here."

Stan groaned and shook his head. "Th-that's kind of the problem." He laughed faintly. "I can't stop with you doing _that_."

Gary retracted his hands hastily and blushed. "S-sorry. I'll - uh - wait outside." He stood in the doorway and added: "Some fresh air will help you feel better! I'll get your bike ready for you! This will be so fun." He walked away singing to himself: _"I want to ride my bicycle. I want to ride my bike."_

Stan stared down at the toilet bowl and realised he'd completely forgotten about Wendy. In fact, he wondered if it was ever her he was pining after. He knew at that moment he was back to his old, awkward and hopelessly unromantic self. He smiled at the warmth in his chest. It felt good to be happy again. "Oh, Gary," he whispered.

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_A/N:Thank you! Reviews for these two cuties are much appreciated!_


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